Saturday, April 2, 2011

Because I Want To Go Outside

Live in my fucking shoes.
I dare you.
For one day, one hour, one minute...
Just be me and know what it is
know what I carry.

I am timid where I once roared
I fear each day, each step, each rising.
What will it be today?
Will it be pain?
Will it be unsteady?
Will it be unforgiving?

Or will today be a good day...
How long will it last?
Should I trust it?
Can I be left alone?
Should I be left alone?

 Who am I?

I once walked this earth free
of dependency - confidently as one.
I needed no others, but I loved them for company.
Now, unfaithful to my own confidence,
I need them all and want for none.
No one should see me this way.

But that's the problem, isn't it?
No one sees.
No one knows.
No one walks in these fucking shoes.

I beg you - take a step.


  1. Wow, what an awesome and powerful poem! I loved it! Seriously. No one understands what its like to walk in someone else's shoes. There's no way we can ever truly feel what another person really feels.

  2. LOVE it! It's so raw and edgy and powerful. Keep doing what you do!

  3. You've nailed the problem that exists in our society. No one gives a shit what it's like to walk in the other person's shoes unless the person is Charlie Sheen or Lady Gaga.

    Great poem! Nice work.

  4. WOw, that SO captures my daughter's experience with IIH! I'm going to share it with her. Thank you!

  5. Thank you all.

    It WAS raw because I was angry at that moment. I came into my office and just wrote it out. I can't believe how easily it came out, I guess it was something I wanted to say for a long time.

    It is something that would be unfair to say to anyone face to face because it is an impossible task to walk in my shoes, but I have a special kind of desperation to embrace days when I am feeling well that can not be understood if you didn't walk this path.

    I know others have walked even more difficult paths than I which is why I usually don't burst, but on Saturday, I was having a moment. And let me tell you WRITING it down, so I can go back to it and KNOW that feeling was real has made a huge difference.

    Thank you all for reading. And Pia, I hope your daughter gets some relief from my written frustration ;)